Looks like we've got ourselves a good old fashioned corporate social media beef...
PublishedMarch 4, 2026 2:00 PM EST•UpdatedMarch 4, 2026 1:42 PM EST
It seems to have gone away, but, man, did I love being alive for the Cola Wars, even though, truthfully, I was Switzerland through all of it.
But we may be seeing a return to this kind of thing, thanks to a social media salvo fired from the Burger King C-suite toward the top brass at McDonald's.
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As you've probably heard, seen, or, by this point, even tasted, the Golden Arches has a new burger called the Big Arch.
To get people excited, back in February, McD's CEO Chris Kempczinski taste-tested the new sammich in a bizarre video that has come back into the zeitgeist with the Big Arch's nationwide roll-out.
It came off as though the McD's boss had never encountered a burger in his entire life, let alone eaten one.
Also — and I don't want to get conspiratorial here — it kind of gave off an inter-dimensional reptilian monster in a human skin-suit vibe.
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Meanwhile, in the Hall of Justice… I mean Burger King HQ, they're getting ready to release a revamped Whopper.
Yes, you read that correctly. You know that burger they're known for? Somehow, they had been f--king it up for years.
Anyway, their CEO decided to take a dig at his McDonald's counterpart by showing that he does, in fact, know how to take a bite of a burger.
Not gonna lie: that was a solid bite.
He even added a squeeze to mush down the top bun, all in one solid motion. That's a veteran maneuver.
I've got to deduct points for what felt like a pre-planned bit about how the only thing missing was a napkin.
Sure, he got a little lettuce debris stuck to his lip — although I think you can just add that in After Effects — but it felt like it had been discussed.
"So, I think it would be funny if I took a bite and then was like, ‘The only thing missing? A napkin.’ It'll just crack people up… even though I know it makes no sense; we give people napkins with these, generally speaking."
Now the ball is back in McDonald's high-calorie court.
If I know corporate beefs like I think I do, there's probably an all-hands meeting right now about how they can prove to the nation that their CEO does, in fact, know how to eat a cheeseburger like a human being.
